2012 was not a very good year for pop music. Maybe I just had such high hopes from 2011 (which was one of the best years for pop music in a while) that I go too excited for the music of 2012. But instead of pop music that's really good or at least interesting, most of the pop music of 2012 was pretty bland and boring. For instance, "Call me Maybe" became a #1 hit and was the second most popular song of the year. Well here we go, we're counting down the absolute worst that pop music had to offer us in 2012. But first, I wanna get a few things out of the way. First, I'm only ranking the top 10 worst songs of Billboard's hot 100 year-end list of the year 2012. Second, this list is my opinion only, so just because I don't like a certain song doesn't make it so bad that no one can like it. So go ahead and listen to whatever music you want to. Third, any feedback is appreciated, even if you hate this list. Fourth, I do not own anything in this list, only the list was created by me. But without further adieu, here I go ranking the top 10 Worst pop songs of the year 2012.
#10. Dance (A$$) By: Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj Year-End Position: # 57
Not only did I rank this as the tenth worst song on the list, but surprisingly, I almost ranked it on my best list. Yeah, I'm not even joking. We needed a song like Dance (A$$) for 2012. Why? Because (Dance A$$) is the prefect example of a "so bad it's good". Everything in this song is absolutely wonderful. The fact that there have been so many annoying rap songs made about butts that it took a "genius" such as Big Sean to just deliberately cut to the chase. This song is as painful to listen to as it's so much fun to sing out loud with your friends. The sheer fact that this song doesn't use a whole lot of innuendo or smooth-talking gives it a special place in my heart. But enough praising the song, because it's still one of the worst songs I've heard in a long time. The lame beat, the shockingly stupid lyrics, and the music video that's only 2 less articles of clothing from pornography makes this a truly terrible experience. I don't need to really describe what sucks about this song, if you've heard it before, you can probably finish the rest of these sentences. Also, why the hell does he sample "Can't touch this"? Is he trying to tell us that he's staring at so many females but he can't touch them. Then does that just make him a creep? I don't know, because this song is terrible. But it's so beautifully terrible that I still catch myself listening to it even when I'm kicking myself not to. Dance (A$$) is one of only two songs on this list that is so stupid that I enjoy it because of its stupidity.
#9. Too Close By: Alex Clare Year-End Position: # 30
If you're a new up-and-coming music artist, then one thing you should stay away from is making yourself sound annoying. But to be fair, Alex Care does have a pretty solid voice. It's mostly the music in this song that angers me so much. Granted, the lyrics are stupid too. If you both are heading your separate ways, then why do you need to tell her you're both too close to each other. Isn't that contradicting yourself? And if you're too close to her or him, then why do you feel the need to keep reminding her/him? Anyway, I mainly hate the music going on in this song, which is what really makes me put this song on this list. I hope Alex Clare does better in the future, but I also hope he picks much better music to play instead of dubstep.
#8. The Motto By: Drake feat. Lil Wayne, Tyga Year-End Position: # 20
Let me just say this. This is the song that brought us the ever-so popular phrase known as YOLO. Even though I can't stand that phrase, that's a rant for another time. But I do not hate this song just because of a stupid acronym that will soon be out-of fashion. No, but the real reason I hate this song is because of how lame sounding and unsettling it sounds. The whole song sounds so lazy without much energy put into the beat. The lyrics are just terrible. Plus, Drake is much better than this. I'm not a fan of Take Care, but it's a song by Drake and another artist who will appear later on this list that is actually meaningful. In Take Care, Drake sounds sincere and in the Motto he seems hell-bent on partaking in stupid dangerous activities. So it's essentially a Lil Wayne song. Actually it is, because he's on the track, but sounds exactly like Drake in every way. The Motto is a song that sounds so slow that it almost puts me to sleep upon hearing it, and is so boring that I don't understand how anyone can use it as their life Motto.
#7. Red Solo Cup By: Toby Keith Year-End Position: # 82
Remember when I wrote that there are 2 songs on this list that I enjoy solely for it's stupidity. Well Red Solo Cup is the other one. Do I even need to describe what I don't like about this song? You can identify how stupid it is just by the title. This is a song about a single plastic cup. That's it. There is no deeper metaphor involved. A Red Solo Cup is used for Toby Keith to drink alcoholic beverages out of at parties. Or use as a bong, but knowing Toby Keith, I don't know which one he'd use first so probably both at the same time. This song is so stupid that even Toby Keith didn't like it. But the fact that this was the only Toby Keith song of the year to make it on the year-end list is straight up insulting to the man. If you never heard another Toby Keith song besides Red Solo Cup, then you'd view him as a drunk party animal passing off as a country music star. That's not true at all, he also likes smoking weed. But Toby Keith has made good music before. The only reason that I enjoy this song is for how stupid it is. All in all, this song is so aware of how stupid it is that it becomes incredibly fun, but yet, it is still a terrible song. We had a pop song this year about a plastic cup. That should sum up the state of pop music of 2012.
#6. One More Night By: Maroon 5 Year-End Position: # 18
Have we got a bad one here. Unlike other artists on this list (slightly aside from Toby Keith) Maroon 5 is the only one that I really like. I like Maroon 5, there I said it, I like Maroon 5's music. Until 2012. With their new album, they have truly shown how much they can suck. No other pop act this past year infuriated me as much as Maroon 5 did. What's so bad about this song? Well for one Adam Levine keeps going Ew ew ew ew ew ew eeeeww during the entire song. I don't hate Adam Levine's voice, I find it ok. But this song presents Adam as being the ultimate jerk. The fact that he admits that he's only in this relationship because his partner is really good at sex, and openly tells his partner who apparently doesn't dump him immediately should just say it all. But for Adam Levine in this song, he goes all out and states that he's the only sane one and somehow keeps failing to leave the one he's with. Dude, just leave the house already, don't keep subjecting your partner to having to keep up with your attitude. This song can make the most attractive people unwanted by all, but yet it was one of the most popular songs of the year. I guess all people care about is a catchy beat, which this song has as the only thing going for it.
#5. Good Feeling By: Flo Rida Year-End Position: # 16
Flo Rida somehow manages to be the only pop music celebrity who consistently manages to have huge hits and yet has absolutely no personality at all. He's had so many hits, and yet I doubt any of his listeners can name off his albums or at least one of them. He has what you can call "not a very diverse lyrical range". Almost every single song that he's made is about having fun at a club or being attracted to some woman. Let me state that I am not against having fun or being attracted to women, but there's a certain fine line between when it's ok to have fun, and when you're having too much fun. Flo Rida has no real understanding of that fine line, and continued throughout the year to release annoying dance/club music. But Flo Rida has a talent for taking something good and completely tearing apart the very fabric of what makes that "something" good. For instance, I do enjoy Club Can't Handle Me, but mainly because there is a very nice chorus in that song with a strong female voice. Wild Ones has another guest star who is pretty talented, and like before is the only memorable part of the song. But Good Feeling goes a step way far into the wrong direction. I love Levels by Avicii, and apparently so does Flo Rida. At least I would think that if he didn't completely interrupt the song by rapping about himself or the club or so on. Also, what makes me hate this song the most is just that 20 seconds where he completely destroys Levels by Avicii. Though the dubstep breakdown is only that long, it is long enough to make Levels by Avicii sound like a bowl of digital vomit and likewise cause a great amount of anger. That's probably the most anyone can ever say about Flo Rida; next.
#4. Birthday Cake By: Rihanna feat. Chris Brown Year-End Position: # 79
Even though I ranked these bottom 4 songs in their order, they are all so bad that each one can easily become the #1 worst song of the year. But with Birthday Cake, Rihanna loses all like-ability from Take Care. Look, I wanna make one thing clear, I do not care what artists do in their personal life. I don't think a celebrity's personal life should have any impact on what they make is what I mean. Mel Gibson movies didn't change because he happened to say a few things that he really shouldn't of, and likewise I don't care about what Rihanna and Chris Brown did. But I don't hate Chris Brown for what he did to Rihanna, I just hate his music. Why is this song so terrible? Y'know what makes a good song good? Having someone shout cake as often as they can in the background. When you next listen to "Stairway to Heaven" "You Shook Me All Night Long" or Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" just imagine someone in the background shouting "CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE" and it'll make everything better. The music is so haunting in this song and so painful it's probably the music the guy in "Scanners" was listening to before his head exploded. There are so many things wrong with this song that I can't do it justice in a simple paragraph. Since when was it mandatory to make love to your girlfriend on her birthday and only on her birthday. Please, Rihanna, don't remind me of "Birthday Sex" which is still not an acceptable birthday present. Just the more I talk about this song the more deranged I become. So do the world a favor Rihanna, and please for the sake of pop, create better music; you're capable of it.
#3. As Long As You Love Me By: Justin Bieber feat. Big Sean Year-End Position: # 34
Sigh. Where do I begin with this catastrophe? I was so close to putting this song at the bottom of the list, and it's one of those songs that I hear and immediately get sickened by. Plus it's the second time we get Big Sean on this list. What is it about this song that drives me to my boiling point? Well for one the entire song is dubstep which immediately spurs fear into the heart of mankind. Second, it's Justin Bieber at his absolute lamest. Third, the lyrics are by far some of the worst of the entire year. You'll be my platinum, silver, and gold? How about you be my printer and shout noise at me and usually be useless and in the way of things and messing everything up. Because that is what this song is. It's a whole mess, and it combines the unholy triumvirate of popular music. You've got Justin Bieber, dubstep, and terrible, atrocious lyrics. I shouldn't need to say any more than that, I hate this song, I wish it never existed, and just barely escaped even my number 2 spot. Which should go to show that the next song on the list happens to be worse than this mess. What is it? I was afraid you'd ask.
#2. Want U Back By: Cher Lloyd Year-End Position: # 55
... Want U Back by Cher Lloyd perfectly resembles what every teenage girl goes through in her stressful life after a break up. Want U Back is the absolute greatest way of handling a break when you simply, want them back. First, you open up your song with straight-up insulting him. Next, you end every line going UHHH like you're being punched in the gut by his new girlfriend who happens to be in a perfectly loving relationship with him and the two are living pleasantly together away from you. Next act like you're the one who set him straight and fixed him up to be with other people. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm being sarcastic, because this is one of the most brain hurting most annoying things I have ever listened to. Cher Lloyd has a nice voice, and likes to let her listeners know that she can completely strain it out to where it sounds like she's completely insane. Perhaps. Oh, and that stupid rap section. Look, if you're 16, you shouldn't be rapping about giving your heart out to someone, you should be talking about how awesome the new video game you got is. Please Cher Lloyd, please show intelligence next time.
And the #1 WORST Song of the year goes to...
Payphone By: Maroon 5 Year-End Position: # 4
Never has an artist that I actually like giving me so much frustration in one year. Birthday Cake, As Long As You Love Me, and Want U Back may be terrible, but they all have one thing in common. I have absolutely no interest in listening to any of the artists that made those songs. But ohhhh boy, did Maroon 5 just have one of the biggest drops in quality of any musical group in a long time than they did in 2012. This song, this wretchedly horrendous song... Why do I have so much hatred for what seems like a simple song? Because it's the absolute weakest sounding and wimpiest of all songs this year. The music in this song sounds so over-processed it sounds like Adam Levine's voice decided to make its own genre of music. This song is just bland and lame and is so infuriating that I don't even know where to begin. Of all things, why is he using a Payphone as an example for his love for this girl? What, is his girl dirty and broken, old and out of style, only used by people on the road frequently without a cell phone plan, and the amount of time up for use depends on how many quarters you put into the slot? Baloney, that's got to be the worst way to describe your feelings for someone. There's also Wiz Khalifa's verse which is arguable the laziest thing he's ever written. Does he rap about his car? You betcha'! There is so much in this song that gets me angry that I can't even begin to describe how this makes me feel in a blog post. All in all, without a doubt (in my opinion) this is the absolute worst of the worst that 2012 in the pop music scene had to offer, and I don't like it.
Now even though I have expressed so much rage in this list, I will post what I think are the top 10 best songs of the year next. So look forward to that!
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